I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
