Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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