just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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