And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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