you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
