NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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