Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
