So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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