So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
