What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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