Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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