grandma shit on top of the toilet
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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