Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
