can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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