Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
