He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
