I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
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