i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
