hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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