Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
