alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize