i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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