im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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