Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
