What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
This is my gift to your gina
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
