Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
