I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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