u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
