take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
