YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
