a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize