I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i think im in europe. pls send help
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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