i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
