Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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