Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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