she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
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You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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