Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
