Say something about gay babies.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
be right there i have to get my cape
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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