this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i just google imaged poop.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is Oprah even human
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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