woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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