Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
