So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My life is pants optional.
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