So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
