I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
