Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
