just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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