Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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