Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
