her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
