i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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