She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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