so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
