Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
