did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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