Duck Duck Cougar?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
