You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So apparently I’m into choking now
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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