it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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