So drunk its hurt
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
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