you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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